So first off, my dad he was born in Thailand and my mom I think she was born in Cambodia. She said that she didn’t went to Cambodia so I really don’t know. So my family (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle immigrated to the United States of America and became citizens. That time they lived in Stockton, California. I could of live there still. But my dad he went to school in New Hampshire and got a job here and the job over here paid a lot more money than California. So Then my mom side of the family came with my parents, and my dad side of the family stayed in California that was in the 1990s when they moved to New Hampshire. Then they separated, so now we don’t live together anymore.
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I would say that the applicant who wrote the “Imagine” essay didn’t get due to the essay’s flat prose, poor organization, and questionable grammar, not its subject matter. The song was not sung “by the show,” but by the characters on the show. The sentence “When I watched this episode while the deaf adolescents were singing it, and soon joined by another glee club, it surprisingly affected me…” is just an incredible mess. He didn’t watch “while” they were singing; it should be “were joined by;” and “surprisingly affected me” is a terribly clumsy construction. How about: “As I watched another glee club join the deaf adolescents in singing the song during this episode, I was surprised by how much it affected me.” Not all applicants will be strong writers, but all need to show at least a basic grasp of how to communicate a thought.